


Undeniably Unrequited

by princenyoung



Category: GOT7
Genre: Angst, Cliche bullshit, Lack of Communication, M/M, but not really, it's all over the place, jinson, jjp, mark is jackson's wake up call, nonsensical, unnecessary angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-27
Updated: 2019-05-27
Packaged: 2020-03-20 09:54:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,106
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18990319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princenyoung/pseuds/princenyoung
Summary: “It’s two in the morning. You have a lecture in the morning at nine, and yet here you are, sobbing over someone who you supposedly think of “as a friend.” So tell me, Jackson — Do you really think of him as a friend or do you think of him as more than that?”





	Undeniably Unrequited

**Author's Note:**

> this is literally uneccessary angst

He shouldn’t be doing this.

 

He shouldn’t be looking at Jinyoung’s Instagram page, expecting things to change — for _that person_ who’s become a constant in his every pictures to disappear.

 

He really shouldn’t be doing this, at two in the morning in his shared room, where his roommate laid sleeping soundly on the other side of the room. He definitely shouldn’t be doing this, in his bed, legs pulled up to his chest with an arm encircled around them, scrolling through Jinyoung’s feed, heart aching and head a buzz.

 

_Jaebum asked me out and I said yes! I’m so happy, you don’t even understand!_

 

Those words echo endlessly in his mind.

 

 _Of course_ he understands.

 

Perhaps he understands it a bit too much.

 

It doesn’t occur to him he’s crying until a few drops of tears land on his phone screen, and he bites his bottom lip, hard, trying to stifle his sobs and so the blonde haired boy slumbering away peacefully in his own bed won’t end up waking up because of him.

 

He scrolls through more pictures, allowing himself to spiral down into an endless tunnel of torment.

 

He doesn’t even notice the movements of his roommate from across the room, and it isn’t until he feels a feather light touch on his arm does he realise Mark’s sitting on the edge of his bed now, Jackson’s side of the room now dimly lit with Jackson’s bedside light turned on. Mark stares at him, concerned. “Jacks,” he says, softly. “What are you doing? Why are you crying?” he asks, though it wouldn't take a genius to figure out what’s going on — Jackson’s crying, that’s why, and he’s crying over his best friend, that’s what.

 

“I just…” he chokes out, trailing off and unable to continue, wiping at his tears with the back of his hands. “Sorry I woke you up,” he apologises, weakly.

 

Mark sighs, glancing at Jackson’s phone screen. “Jinyoung and Jaebum, huh?” he says, lightly, taking Jackson’s phone away from him and placing it onto the bed side table. “Jackson, I thought you said you didn’t like him that way?”

 

“I don’t,” Jackson lies.

 

“Then explain to me _this_. It’s two in the morning. You have a lecture in the morning at nine, and yet here you are, sobbing over someone who you supposedly think of “as a friend.” So tell me, Jackson — Do you really think of him as a friend or do you think of him as more than that?” Mark queries, peering at Jackson. “Lying to yourself won’t help,” Mark says, scooting closer to the younger and pulling him into a comforting hug. “Accept your feelings. I won’t tell you to get over this, or to move on, because that is your choice to make,” he continues, rubbing soothing circles on the younger’s back as Jackson sobs into his chest.

 

“There’s no one better than him,” Jackson says in a quiet voice after a while, the tremble in his voice still distinct, the hurt magnified.

 

Mark doesn’t answer him, only holds him tighter. 

 

—

 

“Jinyoung?”

 

“Mmm?” Jinyoung murmurs, sleepily, opening his eyes slightly to look at Jaebum through a haze of eyelashes and much blurring.

 

“Is everything alright? It’s two in the morning, what’s keeping you awake?” Jaebum asks, softly, combing his fingers through Jinyoung’s hair and leaning in to press a soft kiss against his forehead.

 

“Nothing in particular — I guess the coffee’s keeping me awake,” Jinyoung lies, knowing it sounds reassuring enough because Jaebum doesn’t question him after that, telling him to try and get some shut eye before their next dreaded morning lecture, happening in a few hours' time. Or maybe he just doesn’t want to probe Jinyoung further, believing the younger will tell him what’s bothering him when he wants to — When he feels ready.

 

Jinyoung smiles and agrees. 

 

However, once he’s sure Jaebum has fallen asleep, half an hour later, Jinyoung removes the older’s arm which was wrapped loosely around him and gets up and out of bed. The coldness of the room hits him and he shivers slightly, grabbing Jaebum’s jacket hanging off the back of his chair and draping it over his shoulders. He proceeds to the balcony, to get some fresh air and to hopefully put a stop to his racing thoughts.

 

Reason he can’t sleep?

 

 _Jackson_.

 

It’s as simple as that, really.

 

Leaning against the railing, he stares out into the night sky, catching a few stars winking down at him and the moon shining down on him.

 

He lets out a sigh, hoping this would help him get rid of the thoughts of his best friend — But to no avail.

 

All he could think about was Jackson.

 

Jackson.

 

_Jackson._

 

Jackson — Holding him. Embracing him. Loving him.

 

God.

 

He feels like pure shit.

 

The fact that he can’t go the extra step further with Jaebum because all he could think about was _Jackson_ being the one he’s doing this with — He hates it. The fact that Jaebum forgave him, was patient with him, and still is, makes him feel even worse.

 

He’s leading Jaebum on, and for what? So he could feel like he’s loved by _someone_ , if his best friend can’t be the one loving him this way? He’s trying to move on, to have Jaebum be the new starting point in his life — To return Jaebum’s feelings, _genuinely_. The boy loves him so dearly, he knows that much, and the fact that he can’t stop thinking about someone else makes him feel so fucking bad.

 

But he can’t help it — he can’t stop thinking about Jackson, and more so the way he smiled and congratulated him when he told him the “news” of him and Jaebum dating. It’s like he wasn’t the least bit affected, even offering to celebrate this by treating him to meat.

 

That was when he knew all hopes were lost — Jackson just didn’t love him that way.

 

No amount of waiting, of patience, would make Jackson love him back.

 

To Jackson, he’s nothing more than a best friend, but to him, Jackson is more than just a best friend — He’s more than that, though he’s not going to risk ruining their friendship if Jackson isn't showing the least bit of interest in him.

 

Maybe it’s time to call an end to this, close this chapter of his life and move on — With Jaebum by his side, and to have Jackson remain as his best friend.

 

Maybe these feelings would slowly fade away soon enough.

 

_And, maybe, it’s time for him to accept that there are some things in life that just aren’t meant to be._

**Author's Note:**

> MAYBE IF Y'ALL COMMUNICATED pROPERLY, THIS WOULDN'T HAVE HAPPENED FEEKFN
> 
> anyway


End file.
